Dating borderline woman
Dating borderline woman - Free Online
A friend of mine told me he is probably BPD because of how he often acts and reacts and so I have been researching it. I simply ignored the things that really did frustrate and hurt me because most of the time it was the greatest relationship I have had.%0D %0D How this breakup will impact him is important to me, because he is emotionally fragile. I am hoping when I do leave, it is for the right reasons and not because I think he has BP.%0D %0D Anyway, thanks for your help - even the smart asses.%0D %0D"I have chosen to seek advice from a professional because I deeply care about this human being and want to make sure I handle this correctly."So you want to go to a therapist & have the therapist diagnose your BF for you, sight unseen.
You will learn (or not) the hard way, as many of us have.I have sat through long dinners, pushing to make conversation and hitting a brick wall with every exchange..then been accused of not talking to him once we got home. The peeps here ranting about their BPD partners sound nuts. BPD in another sounds like an excuse for not taking responsibility for your own obviously dysfunctional behavior.I've given into some little sexual taste, and then had it thrown out in public that I'm kinky. In the end, it will become so intolerable you will leave, or he will coldly dump you - without really telling you unless you push hard for an explanation.%0D %0D Of course, your case is different. OP here%0D %0D He and I are both men.%0D %0D I have chosen to seek advice from a professional because I deeply care about this human being and want to make sure I handle this correctly.Not wanting to introduce him to my friends, when he's turned down multiple opportunities.%0D %0D After a while, you start to question yourself, and you accept this craziness. I think therapy is a great way to get through difficult issues and decisions. %0D %0D I have been thinking about breaking up with him for weeks for many reasons.If it looks like he meets the criteria there is treatment available.One treatment that has been found to be effective is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.
Your therapist can help you look at the criteria from the perspective of how professionals look at them (he/she would never diagnose someone who isn't there but it is appropriate for them to educate you about what it looks like). When you say you're going to work thru this with a therapist, I hope you're going to focus on just why you want to pursue a relationship with this person and why you think you "love" someone you don't seem to know well. With everyone on the thread urging OP to run away from the BPD you just KNEW he wouldn't listen and insist on making it work.
If you think he has it and he's not willing to do anything about it I'd get out - it will be too much of a roller coaster in the long run. He thinks trying to make it work means he himself should see a therapist! OP, you're not listening, which is how this usually goes.
OP here%0D %0D The problem is, how do I even know he is?
I have googled the symptoms and he has a few of them.
But he also could just be really deeply hurt by past relationships and is difficult because of that.%0D %0D I love him, I hear what you are all saying about running the other way, but if I do it will be on an assumption, and that will be unfair to him.
%0D %0D I have decided to work through this with a therapist and have already made an appointment.%0DOP-Has he been evaluated for BDP?